Welcome to autism awareness from the experience of an Asperger’s woman who was undiagnosed until her early forties, after falling through every medical crack in the nhs.
I knew I was different from primary school when I sat dejected in a corner of my classroom watching the kids play merrily games which I had little interest in
I was socially awkward as I lacked empathy for my peers, and preferred to stay in a safer Fantasyland, which buffeted me from the hostility of the brats around me, and the loud noises they made in the playground. I was terrified of an environment over which I had no understanding of
I had to seek solace in my over active imagination, which sent me of to a world in which I was being applauded on stage instead of being banished to lonely corners of the school like some total reject. Looking back my flight s into fantasy were the product of the dominance of the right brain hemisphere over the undeveloped left hemisphere which provides us with maths, language and logical thinking. Yes, none of the above were my forte. It took years of nightly reading to make me fluent in my first language. I was determined to activate my left brain with decades of practise. I had to gain entry into a normal world even if it meant being a bookish nerd. I would never lose my fantasy life, but I couldn’t let it dictate my life. But even now my Imagination has caused me to make bad decisions as I was not being pragmatic. I guess I will always be off with the fairies as I prefer fairy land to real life as real folk with their hidden motives still flumox me. I am still a straight forward person at my age who was brought up to take folk at facevalue by a naive family who were uneducated maids and cleaners. I have been more blessed to get an education they never received.
Personally, I am going to be my grumpy self all through the celebration s, and my introverted self all through the year. No one can condemn me as they finally know that it feels like to be anxious, withdraw n and depressed. My idea of a fresh start/year is being what I was meant toContinue reading “Autism awareness”
Dear followers this is my last rant before Christmas. I look forward to my first quiet Christmas, when I am not expected to meet anyone or be in a jolly mood. I am no extrovert, and Christmas is no exception. I don’t pity the party animals who are going to miss partying this year. TheyContinue reading “Autism awareness”
I have written about the smugness of the normals. They feel empathy when it suits them when one of them is physically sick. They have less pity for a mental illness such as anxiety or depression which is related to us aspies. The one benefit of lockdown is that they have been forced to walkContinue reading “Autism awareness”
I have called normal s bigots on last post. Maybe that was to strong a word, as the truth is norms assume too much about others, especially the different. The different are the nicest as they are accepting of everyone. They are not smug like those who fit into norms. If they fit into aContinue reading “Autism awareness”
I read an aspie blog yesterday, who said difference should not be seen as less. It got me thinking about all the verbal abuse I received from adults, such as weird selfish lunatic. This is stuff they wouldn’t utter to a normal person . The point I wish to make is that difference is notContinue reading “Autism awareness”
I will stick with my lockdown theme because though autism kids have been anxious and isolated I personally have seen some benefits for us. The main one being I have seen an explosion in anxiety all around me in the uk The truth is that most folk dismiss mental illness in Britain as something youContinue reading “Autism awareness”
